


Accidentally In Love

by touchinghearts



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, One Shot, POV First Person, Romance, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-29
Updated: 2011-03-29
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchinghearts/pseuds/touchinghearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being together had only been to ease of the loneliness of broken hearts at first. I almost hadn’t notice when it changed. Almost. Pre-Lucifer era.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidentally In Love

It had been a shattering day for both of us when we found them kissing in Jonghyun’s bedroom. I'd been right behind you when you opened the door; it was your bedroom too, after all. I hadn’t known why you suddenly went still, I just peered over your shoulder to see who was inside. That was when I saw them, hands tangled in each other’s hair, lips swollen and bodies pressed together.

I thought I could almost hear the sound of our hearts breaking, bursting into thousands of little pieces, raining on the floor in huge jagged pieces.

It was a little funny, really, because previously I hadn’t known that you had feelings for Kibum. But looking at you then, I could instantly recognise that the feelings within your expressive eyes matched the ones in mine as I stared at Jonghyun.

We both left as quickly as we could.

 _“Maybe we could help us feel better.”_

 _“How do we do that?”_

 _“We could make each other forget.”_

It didn’t get better. After we stumbled over them, Jonghyun and Kibum decided to make their relationship public—or at least, as public as they could ever be, meaning only the members of SHINee and close friends knew about it. It didn’t make things easier. It hurt much more, to be exact.

Seeing them everyday, holding hands, glancing at each other with such gentle eyes, it hurt more than anything. Half the time, I couldn’t stand it. As for the other half, I just leave so I don’t end up crying and making a fool of myself in front of the person I loved and who loved somebody else.

You were the same. Your eyes always became hard when Jonghyun reaches out to hold Kibum’s hand. Your mouth tightens when Kibum leans his head back into Jonghyun’s chest. You always turn away when Jonghyun and Kibum are leaning towards each other, whispering and giggling over some little secret only they know about. Your heart must constrict as painfully as mine does when Jonghyun and Kibum kiss.

You were suffering just as much as I was, so I suppose it shouldn't have been a surprise when things took an unexpected turn.

 _You kiss me first and I don’t pull away. You taste so good that I couldn’t. Your lips are feathery-soft against mine and your tongue is sinful in my mouth, as athletic as the rest of your toned body currently pressing mine into the wall. It’s surprising when you started this but I couldn’t blame you. We’re both in pain and, more than anything, we want to destroy that agony burning inside us._

What better way to forget than to seek comfort in the arms of the man who was in the same situation?

 _So I pull you closer and your hand clutches at my shoulder tightly as we kiss furiously, tongues clashing, mouths open and sucking, breathing harsh. Both of us pretended to ignore the tears flowing freely from our tightly-shut eyes as we try not to imagine that who we’re kissing is that person we can never have._

After that, we promised ourselves that we would never do it again. But that promise became null when one day Taemin told me that Jonghyun and Kibum have bailed for the weekend, off to some paradise somewhere with just each other, off to possibly consummate their relationship, off to add more pain to our already damaged hearts.

And I went to you. Because I wanted more than anything to forget the world, I wanted more than anything an escape from reality, from the cruelness that was life and unrequited love. And you welcomed me with opened arms, because you felt the same way, because you needed to feel, because you wanted to throw away the hurt that came with the realisation that you don’t have a chance anymore.

 _Your touches are gentle and hesitant, befitting both our first times. We didn’t know what we were doing, but we let our instincts guide us as we go along and if it isn’t good we stop, if it is we continue. Your hand curls into the locks of my hair and I close my eyes as I taste the skin of your abdomen and I go lower. You pull me up and kiss me, licking away the tears that don’t stop as I drag a hand down your back._

 _Our first time together is awkward but we make do and we allow the animalistic side of ourselves to take over. Our coupling is fierce and our cries stricken as we struggle to fill the gaping hole within our chests. My fingers dig into your back as I throw my head back and your nails scrape the side of my thighs as you move faster into me—and for that short, forgiving time, we couldn’t think of anything but each other._

After that, something sparked between us. We didn’t stop our trysts. Instead we got together as often as possible, as much as our busy lives would allow, whenever we couldn’t handle feeling the pain anymore. We got bolder, we did it more frequently, we pretended like nothing had changed in front of everybody else.

 _I stare up at the ceiling as you lap at my throat. My eyes close and I moan as your tongue lave at the spot below my Adam’s apple, a sensitive place you discovered last month. Your lips move, sliding down my neck and over my shoulder; I wince as you sink your teeth into the soft flesh._

 _“Minho,” I hiss as you climb over me._

 _You only smile down at me and for the first time I notice that your eyes are brighter than they used to be, when they had been dulled after discovering that Kibum was now Jonghyun’s. I wonder if my eyes are the same but the thought flees my mind when you penetrate me. My mouth falls open in a soundless cry as you moan, bending over and pushing deeper into me._

 _There are footsteps outside the door but neither of us are willing to stop. You move faster and I wrap my legs around your waist to encourage you. Our hearts beat hard as we listen, my head falling back against the pillows of Taemin’s bed as you pound into me with all your strength. Nobody opens the door and you go on regardless, because you’re close and I’m close and we need to reach that peak so much._

 _Jonghyun’s voice resounds noisily outside and with a choked moan I climax. Kibum’s answering laughter prompts your own orgasm, making you whimper, and we slump against each other. I look up at you but you have your eyes closed. Still, there is a small smile on your face, so I snuggle closer and think about how the tears had been absent tonight._

We got more daring as time went on. We’ve lost count of the amount of times we’d had sex and we’ve tried all the public places we could safely use without potentially creating a scandal. It sent a guilty thrill down our backs, the thought of getting caught, but it never bothered us. I never knew whether it was a voyeuristic feature in our personalities or we just wanted to prove something to certain people.

What I do know is that I didn’t want this to stop, because this fling was what made my days bearable. It was convenient and it worked better than we could imagine; we were so wrapped up in each other that we never noticed when our hearts became whole again.

But I noticed when we lost them for the second time.

 _“Jinki,” you whisper as you lift your head from my lap. I pant and our eyes collide; I release a trembling whimper when you grip me harshly._

 _“Say my name, Jinki,” you order softly, your tone sounding strange to me. But I’m too needy to think about it._

 _“Minho,” I puff out, rolling my hips. “Please, Minho.”_

 _You comply and I’m soon granted with the feeling of you filling me up, stretching me out as completely as I know only you can. You don’t move and I moan out your name, demanding you to start already because it’s driving me crazy and I need it so much right now. You pause for a moment longer and then you’re thrusting, deep inside me and I’m calling out your name again for a very different reason._

 _“Jinki,” you huff in my ear as you move in even deeper. “Jinki.”  
_

 _“Minho,” I gasp._

 _When it is over, you lie down next to me and pull me in close with strong but careful arms. You make me lay my head on your chest and I’m much too drowsy to protest. Your breath brushes against my ear.  
_

 _“Jinki,” you murmur, and I notice that strange inflection in your tone._

 _My chest swells, although I don’t know why._

We never knew how it happened. Suddenly we’re trying to be more affectionate than before. Holding hands behind backs or under tables, stolen kisses in between practiced dance moves and sessions, eyes locking at random moments. I always wondered if you did it on purpose but I doubted, because I wasn’t doing it on purpose and I found myself looking at you a lot more than I usually did.

It grew to us having spending nights together without indulging in sex. Instead we would just lie tangled together, quiet and listening to the other’s breathing.

 _It wasn’t a first as of late, but the feeling hanging in the air was still strange. Our hands were intertwined somehow, and even we don’t know when it happened, but we tried to ignore how well they fit together._

 _“Minho?” I whisper as your fingers trace the outline of a hickey on my shoulder._

 _“I’m sorry for this,” you whisper back, sounding guilty._

 _I reach over and brush my knuckles against his cheek. “It’s okay,” I say gently. “Nothing like a little makeup to hide it until it fades.”_

 _You gaze me for a long while with those big eyes of yours that never fail to drown me within their dark depths. Then you sigh and move closer, winding arms around my waist. I hesitate for a moment but then I do the same thing._

 _I wonder when this started feeling right._

What was going on? Were we falling in love? What about our broken hearts? For me, what about Jonghyun? For you, what about Kibum? What happened to being in love?

We were still in love. Just with not Jonghyun and Kibum anymore.

 _I bite my lip harshly as you push yourself deep into me. I couldn’t make much noise this time, because the other members are in the kitchen, and we’ve forgotten all about locking the door. I’m frustrated and I don’t want to stop, because you will probably stop if someone walks in on us. I don’t think I can stand that so I hold you in place with my thighs and demand in a whisper for you to move._

 _You comply readily, heated eyes making contact with my own, and you start thrusting into me, hard and fast and exactly what I need right now. I arch my back, gasps tumbling uncontrollably from my lips as you touch places in me you’ve never reached before. My hands clutch at you as you pant harshly at my ear, your irregular breathing all I can hear._

 _I almost cry out as you strike that spot within me and then our movements become frenzied—we’re so close, you and I, and we both want this to end; at the same time, we wish it never will. You lean down to kiss me, claiming my lips as I claim your mouth._

 _Then suddenly we’re climaxing and it feels different and for some reason, it’s the best orgasm I’ve ever experienced._

When it was over, you held on to my hand so tightly, it was like you wanted to rip it off and keep it in your grip forever. But I didn’t complain. Because my grip was just as strong. I know that the other members must’ve noticed how we practically glowed when we left the bedroom. At this rate, we were probably going to be found out soon.

But I didn’t care. Now, it really didn’t matter anymore.

I hadn’t noticed when I got over Jonghyun. Or when you got over Kibum. Along the way, they stopped being the ones to take up such a large part of us and we’ve stopped pining after them. Apparently we’ve healed ourselves, our cracked hearts, and made them whole and new again. But then we fell in love once more, although we’d sworn that we never would.

Something had changed and I didn’t think things would end the same way this time.

 _You’re spread out on the bed, lithe body curled up around my pillow, watching me as I dress up for a filming tonight. You’ve been watching awhile, your large eyes steady and focused, abound with emotions I’ve given up on identifying._

 _“I’m ready,” I announce and walk over to you, sitting on the bed and reaching to weave my fingers through your short hair._

 _You smile at me then sit up, and I spare a moment to feel disgruntled at the fact that you can be taller than me even when you’re sitting down. But you lean close and kiss me so I dismiss the thought for later contemplation. When you’ve tasted every inch of my mouth, you pull back and look deep into my eyes._

 _“Jinki,” you whisper, and something in your gaze goes right through me but it doesn’t hurt. “I love you.”_

Being together had only been to ease of the loneliness of broken hearts at first. I almost hadn’t notice when it changed. Almost.

I think it was an accident. One of those sudden, coincidental things that trip over you when you least expect it, snapping you up in a tsunami that you’re forced to follow while feeling like you’ve just reached the top of the world and jumped down into the arms of the person you held most dear.

 _I smile tenderly up at you and brush my lips against your chin._

 _“I love you, too, Minho-ah.”  
_

 **END**

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. This was a 2010 birthday fic for my LJ wifey, Eevie. <3


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